Dealing with a spotlight hog

Dear DM (or player),

Nayo is a spotlight hog in one of our games (5e & online). At first I thought Nayo designed his characters for maximum operability, but that’s only a minor part of it.

Examples: Races off, sometimes days ahead, leaving the party so he can get to the interesting part of the adventure; Repeatedly conflates rules to increase his spotlight time; Takes advantage of technical difficulties to jump into the spotlight.

The DM doesn’t seem to have a problem with his behavior, often rewarding actions that leave the rest of us way behind.

Calling out this behavior to both Nayo and the GM hasn’t seemed to curb the behavior. The only thing that provides a respite is when Nayo doesn’t show up or has technical difficulties himself. Since I attend the game for entertainment and great company, I weigh my options and hope for the best.

Since it’s not 100% annoying, I masochistically stick around to endure the periodic trainwrecks of boredom. Still, I think it’s time for a different approach.

It sounds like you have done what you can in this particular case. As a DM, there are a lot of ways to handle prima-donna players. As a player, you’ve already talked to the DM and to the player and they have shown that they really don’t care. My next step would be to try to bring the problem to him as a group. If the rest of the players are in consensus, perhaps you can get the DM to take your concerns more seriously.

Barring that, il y a plus de poissons. Time to find another game.


#Farcaster said what I was going to say. Consider it seconded.

What is it that is allowing the player to “get ahead” of the rest of the party? Is it simply rushing ahead and splitting the party to get the kill or solve the puzzle first? Is the player & DM long time friends?

If the DM is allowing a single player to leave the party and finish a scenario built for a full party solo than there are more issues than a spotlight hog. Might just be my personal opinion but a solo player shouldn’t be able to “hog” anything if a scenario is balanced for the party. I feel the end of a scenario should leave the party nearly defeated but they alive as they trudge home with their spoils.

If the rest of the party is in consensus id suggest roleplaying to deal with the behavior. Hire a local gang to knife him while he sleeps or “accidently” toss a fireball at the enemy he is fighting… 3 or 4 times till it takes. If you want to go the non violent route simply go back to town and kick it with a few tavern wenches and wait to get paid.

Let him actually do it all himself if its what he wants to do. If they are days ahead of the rest of the party you could always go do something else. If the DM is willing to run 2 scenarios to accommodate a friend then use that to your advantage. Of course the roleplay route requires your DM’s consent or it will just cause more issues.

You might also want to take a look at why the one player is getting ahead. Is there something the party is doing that distracts from the campaign where the one guy isn’t doing that? I’ve noticed that I have a tendency to give those who pay attention to the campaign more of my time as a DM. Nothing aggravates me more than half of a group looking at their phones or chatting about other things when playing. The players I don’t have to explain THIER parties actions prior to their turn every round usually gets more of my time.

I could speculate all day but in the end you need to look at what will affect your fun the most without ruining real relationships. If you don’t like it and don’t see it changing then it might be time to find a new group or maybe be the DM in the next campaign and make your own rules.


I’m pretty sure every DM has had that guy at their table. My table had a drow rogue assassin (of course :roll_eyes:) who would sneak ahead and find traps, and then just… step over them… leave them for the party to find later when they finally caught up. Maddening.

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Not everything can be stepped over, and I’m firm that those that run ahead, run into something they cannot handle. Oh the illusionary floor with the 50,000 hit point monster. (50,000 1HD fish that do 1HP damage, each.) Paranakettes, stufh like that.


I do not have time for this sort of thing. As a GM and player, I would do what you’ve done, and then give them a short time to change. If they do not, I’m out of there. There are way to many games out there that need or want players to stick with the sort of thing you are going through.

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