Cool Bear, Yeah, it’s tough to find good fellow gamers these days. A lot of people are flaky these days and have become mentally fragile - and its not just he younger short attention span generation - many of us older folks have degraded.
It sounds like you are self aware as you stated that you wondered if it was you or your game. It can be hard to fairly understand how one is behaving and being perceived by others, but making the effort is worthwhile. As far as in person gaming, if nothing else is making sense and you think you are being honest and objective with yourself, maybe its something environmental - like maybe you are just “nose-blind” to pet or medical odors (could even be disinfectant or something), or a stack of dishes in the sink or some clutter could be horrifying for some “clean-freaks”. Most people, even if you know them are not going to tell you that your house smells or is messy or whatever. Similarly, if you have some habits that people find annoying most would rather walk away instead of telling you what they think for fear of confrontation. Some people take criticism well, some don’t - even people asking for it. Most people just don’t think it is worth the effort.
A lot of people these days can’t take any kind of setback - in or out of game. People now-a-days can get pissy and disillusioned if they miss an attack, fail a save, get attacked randomly or because it makes the best strategic sense for intelligent monsters/opponents, etc. Years ago, there was a dust up with a player that caused the whole party to get messed up because he decided that his character was an extreme passivist (because he claimed he was an extreme anti violence person). I think he even took actions to thwart his parties’ actions and goals. I think another player knocked out his character. This is something that someone should be upfront about if they wish to roleplay a very disruptive character - one that works against the party, steals from fellow characters, etc. everyone needs to be on board with this kind of stuff for it to work. At a convention there was a guy that played a hacker in Shadowrun and he always choose to pursue personal character goals at the expense of party needs and the fun of the rest of the players. He didn’t care if the party succeeded as long as his character got extra money or XP. There are a lot of self-absorbed goofs out there.
In general society is becoming more and more polarized. People with (even slightly) different views can’t discuss things any more - its too upsetting, everything is too black and white. People can’t keep their emotions in check and have a healthy, (semi-?)intelligent debate any more. Questions and different opinions are considered attacks and even violence. Maybe your politics (or perceived politics) differ slightly from your players.
It’s a frustrating en-devour, but you you just need to keep trying until you click with enough like minded people. It probably won’t work, but you could try asking some of them one last time (if you’re not blocked ) - Tell them you will not reply/respond to them at all, so there will be absolutely no conflict or back and forth, but please please tell you what was wrong with you and/or your game that they did not like it or want to continue, because you genuinely want to improve yourself (if warranted) and your game.
I’d be interested in discussing a game somewhere around north Austin, if there’s folks here who are around…there…
I’m out past Cedar Park, but would consider driving down to Round Rock (or equivalent radius) for the right group/time. Ideally, I’d love to start with a non-Saturday game, then maybe transition to Saturdays if that’s what’s desired.
I’m currently in a game with my old group (from when I lived in DFW), but that’s not sustainable for my sanity for too much longer. I haven’t put them on notice yet. That’s my Saturday conflict…
I don’t like lumping people together by generation, but in my experience as someone around your age I have to agree with other responders: the ‘younger generations’ aren’t as reliable. I DM online, as I live in a rural area with few other gamers, and stipulate a desired age of 50+ when I’m looking for players. My current group is like that, with one exception, and we regularly play and only occasionally does someone miss, usually for their job.
We’ve managed to cobble together an excellent and efficient system using Google Meet, Google Docs, and Owlbear Rodeo. Have you considered DMing online?
Hi! I’m a NavVet with some service related issues myself.
If you’re willing to play online Saturdays 7 to 10 Eastern/6 to 9 Central and interested in a game often described as: If D&D and Cyberpunk had a baby…
Then feel free to respond either to my Shadowrun 4th Ed ad here in Pen & Paper or directly to me via: EagleHunts.Shadowrun@gmail.com
Hello all…well I feel like Burgess Meredith’s character in the Twilight Zone episode, “Obsolete Man”. So, I’m at the point where I just guess I’ll just retire sell the stuff on Amazon or 1/2 Price Books…sigh ah we’ll have fun everyone since I won’t
I didn’t read all of the stories and I’ve got some as well but it’s similar to what you’ve all mentioned.
Without posting a gigantic post. I’m in the DFW area of TX and prefer in person gaming, but I’m also good with online so long as there is video. I need to be able to see the players reactions LOL
I’ve an epic Dungeons and Dragons adventure using mostly 5e ruleset I’ve been writing for the last handful of years as the time permits. Not sure if I’ll ever convince enough to try it, but no biggie. I might post the specs of it if asked.
I’ve had my share of flakiness, though nothing as bad as some of the things described here.
I’ve had clear cases where the players were just idiots. I have a player drop without a word when I wouldn’t let him re-roll ability scores. He got good rolls, but wanted a re-roll because no 18s. Had a guy leave because he didn’t want to use the roll20 character sheet. Had another leave because he got all the way to the first session without realizing it was a text game… which is posted on the blurb in like three places. And I had to drop one five minutes into his first session when he began making homophobic and transphobic statements… like he just been waiting for other people to show to reveal his true identity as a turd.
Recently we had a player ghost mid-session. I’ve seen people flake after one or two games, but this person had about ten session with the crew, and simply vanished without a word mid-session, blocking me in the process. Obsessively reviewing logs to see what I might have done, all I see is a joke about the weather.
Maybe stuff just happens, or maybe I’m a huge jerk. The other players were scratching their heads a bit for that one, too, but after a few minutes, we just moved on.
Anyway, through all that I have players who stick. You just have to be patient, communicate, and keep the jerk | nice ratio in balance, something I occasionally struggle with.
if anyone here is interested, I run a game using facebook video chats. No VTT’s, makes it simpler. Pathfinder 1e, about as old school as possible. I put a lot of work into my campaigns, even though they’re prewritten. And I try hard to be a good GM. Once a week, every week. Show up 75% of the time, play well with others. That’s all I ask. No politics, no real world anything. Just goofing off, bad dad jokes, nasty villains. I could be convinced to alternate with Vampire. PM me.
) - Tell them you will not reply/respond to them at all, so there will be absolutely no conflict or back and forth, but please please tell you what was wrong with you and/or your game that they did not like it or want to continue, because you genuinely want to improve yourself (if warranted) and your game.
